Tuesday, July 8, 2014

message in a bottle: unresolved

Have you ever felt so tired that you continually complete your day on auto pilot?
Are there days when sweating it out to Jillian Michaels feels better than earning money?
Do you have happy nights wherein you daydream of liking what you do in the morning? And waking up realizing that your daydreaming is only, well, dreams?
Are there unsatisfying days when you go home and all you can do is kick off your heels and lie down, eyes closed, relaxing the mind that was so unfairly taxed?
**I tend to ask a lot of questions when I feel unstable ;)

If yes, then congratulations, I feel the same way!
I never imagined this path to be what my life will be like when I started working.
I thought I'll be a doctor, or even a teacher, or a magazine feature writer. Something that can directly affect people. Now, my priorities are inclined on finance. Sometimes I think that I kept on earning that I forgot about living.
I left all the color, the sparkle, the meager salary back in what I envisioned my life to be. I took up a whole new wardrobe of feelings after lasting a couple of years with computers (in no way connected to social media, more like account receivables and credit cards).
Have you ever felt that way? As if age robbed you off the courage to do what you really want?

In comes blogging.. I started this pretty thing (with a pretty new design that I'm so proud of! High five!) as I cannot express much in the job I chose.
The wonderful atmosphere of sharing life's experiences and getting excited in every tab that I open, that's what I crave for. I don't want to turn this post into a rant but more of a wave of inspiration to what I plan to do. I want to be able to see beyond what I already know. There is much more to the world than just the computer language I am used to seeing.

I do not know when, nor how, nor where I'll be better off. The logistics are vague to me.
I accept that I am in the now. The past is done and the future is untouchable.
What I know is I aim to be grateful. It seems so passive but it seriously does wonders to my perspective, the mood of my day.
I have a job, a family and love to support me, to cheer me on, to catch me before I fall, to be the first ones to appreciate my little triumphs.
My days may feel exhausted and boring but I look forward for what is to come. I want to daydream and actually live that dream. I enjoy blogging and reading, and I intend to use this feeling to move on, to actually do what I want.
To like what I do. To enjoy every bit of my life.

I can write about this for days on end so before publishing a post a lot longer than this, I leave you with:
Do you do what you love? Do share more of your story, if you like :)

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