message in a bottle: being alone

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In this busy world where you can be with anyone anytime, having some moments alone by yourself is scarce. Sometimes, it can be at the bottom of our list of priorities. Most of the time, we simply try to avoid it.

A lot of the people I get to talk with often dislike doing things when they cannot have another person to come along with them. They prefer to not eat than eat alone at work, especially during lunch time when it seems everyone has a lunch buddy. They prefer to not go shopping alone since the idea of not speaking to anyone while walking will make them look pathetic. It's like the high school peer pressure all over again.

I understand how they feel. I really do. There are times when I have something going on in my life and I just cannot be alone in public. It's too much personal turmoil for me. I get the bursts of loneliness and self consciousness. I have thoughts that maybe people are looking at me, wondering why I'm by myself. But let me assure you, they don't. They can't care less.

I always stress just how important it is to have that independence even without your friends to serve as social comfort. There's no running away from your own thoughts, missus. It takes so much emotional peace to be able to do it constantly. Now that's something to work for! :)

I used to have a big group of girlfriends that served as a status symbol for us. Once you're in, you're defined by your similarities and not by your uniqueness. I wasn't my own person. High school and college were that way. I can't shake the constant feeling of emptiness and being lost. I know I should have done something to fix that but I didn't. I was socially scared. But then when I started working, earning by myself, entering the corporate world.. I realized that the thing I needed is to know myself. I can only do that through being alone.

You simply have to have your alone time. Read a book, sweat it out, have a massage, watch people from a distance, take a class to improve yourself. Do things for you. You can do a lot of things on your own, for you. The silence helps you think on your own, without a third person. The solitude molds you into knowing what you want. It brings you to a whole new understanding of yourself that you just cannot have when there's another perspective pestering you.

When you're on your own, it doesn't mean that you have to be sad. It doesn't mean that people pity you. It just shows that you have your own foundation. Your own strength.

Try it.